Saturday, February 25, 2012

Sex and sexuality, IV

In this post I'll share one of my methods to bring in sexuality into your every day life which will ultimately take your sex life to a higher level.

I'll be addressing each method separately just so it's not too overwhelming all at once. Also I've learned that in order to master something close to perfection, it's best to take one step at a time. So let's get started.

I want to speak to women now (men are welcome to listen as always:). Ladies, we all need to fall in love with our bodies. It's essential. Please get over the publicized images of what's considered beautiful and what's not. The truth is it's not the shape but how a woman holds it and even more importantly how she feels about it. Our bodies are our temples to foster our souls in this life time experience. We need to give them some gratitude, don't you think.

And if you start appreciating your body, you'll want to nourish it, you'll want to take a better care of it. And the best part is it's all in your hands. Let your body move, let it rest, let it guide you. Haven't you ever noticed, even when you didn't feel motivated to go the gym or do any physical activity, once you did, you felt amazing afterwards. It was that little (really not helpful/sabotaging) voice telling you how tired you were, and just not feeling like doing anything, and finding all kinds of excuses to avoid a workout. Once you shut that little voice down and took your butt for a run, yoga class, etc, your body was so happy that even that little voice in the end had nothing to say. Yes, we all had that experience. So just remember how happy and elevated you felt after your workout, how light and flexible your body felt. How sexy you felt then?

Yes, when we feel happy in our bodies, we feel sexy. 
So my first mantra for you is to become physical, i.e. find sport, activity that speaks to you and makes your body happy. then do it, do it as much and as often as you can. Happy and open body is your most important foundation to feel sexy, to exude sexuality from within. 

But it's not only with physical activity that we nourish our bodies, we need to give it a beautiful wrapping too:) I think nothing is more sensual than a high quality lingerie. Ladies, just dressing yourself in a nice lingerie on any day of the week, will take you that one giant step closer to discovering your Inner Sex Goddess. You know what I like to do that makes me feel like a Goddess right away. Putting on bright red La Perla on a regular day at work. Especially if I wear a button down shirt and pants. Who would even suspect what's happening underneath? But I do, and it creates that special sex appeal around me even on an average work day. Or how about boy shorts on a date? I know I can be kinky. But seriously it's all about having fun while creating sexual vibes around yourself. It's letting your body enjoy itself and being playful with it.
So get out there, do something physical, let your body dance, sing, open up. Then go get La Perla (my choice) or a good lingerie line you like. Put it on and start letting your Inner Sex Goddess shine thru.

I'm with you all the way! 


P.S. For the guys who read this post please feel free to leave your feedback. I know you have a lot to agree to here.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Love your Diet

Today, I had an appointment with a nutritionist at my gym. Not that I needed it, it was complements of my gym and I decided to go for it just out of curiosity.
So basically, while we talked she was blown away with what I was telling her. It turned into a session of her asking me questions and making notes for herself. What can I say, I shared the secrets of my diet in the most passionate and inspiring way. Seeing how it got her so excited, I had to share it with you, my favorite people :)

First of all, I am size 2, athletic type, with weight fluctuation no more than +- 3pounds. What can I say, I still wear jeans from 7 years ago.
And my diet is: I eat whatever I want, whenever I want it. The only thing I don't eat is meat, for the same simple reason, I don't wear fir coats. I don't want to have animals killed. Anything else I eat and never look at calories. I eat chocolate every day. But I also eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I eat cheese and bread. I eat macaroons (French cream filled cookies), and I always put honey in my yogurt even if it has fruit in it. Basically, I listen to my body and give it whatever it wants and wherever it wants it. And if I don't feel like eating I don't even if it's a 5 star restaurant.

Years ago I read a great book on power of mind. I don't remember the title or the author but his idea was that what we focus on is what we bring into our lives. Hardly a new concept. But he used a diet as an example. He explained the reason why diets don't work. Because any diet makes one focus on food all the time. People think about it, they obsess about it, they fear it, they fight it. The result is poor diet choices and suffering which in the end results in more gained weight. He said if we took our minds off food and focused on something else, and only eat what our body tells us and whenever it requests it, we would never have to battle excess weight. Simply put, what you resist, persists. I was exhilarated to read it, as this is exactly how I do it.

I never worry about calories and if I want chocolate and ice cream, I go for the richest of all. I want to enjoy it. What would be the purpose of eating it if I don't enjoy it. The same reason, Europeans have no weight issue. They enjoy their foods, they never diet. Majority at least. I know I am from there and spend a lot of time there.

Of course, I am very active and work out almost every day. But still my diet is an envy of everyone in the office, since they see me eating whatever/whenever and not just sticking to 3 meals a day as most of them do. By the way, those who are more like me don't have weight issue. It's usually people who stress about food, count calories and talk about it all the time, that have weight problem.

I am not trying to make you follow my diet but if you are worried about your weight you might want to consider it as an option. Take your mind off food, focus on other fun things. And eat what your body is asking for, but be mindful, listen to it, don't ignore it. It knows what's best for you and will take care of you if you just listen.

Bon apetit.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bedtime ritual

If you like me, find it absolutely necessary to bring sensuality into your life on a daily basis then this post is for you.

Whether in a relationship or single, it's equally important to incorporate sensuality into your life. Especially when you're single, as we tend to completely avoid it at the time. Creating sensuality around yourself will in an instant make you feel frisky and excited. And then you notice how amazing it feels, and how much love is inside you.

I'll share one of the rituals I do every night when I am single (which I currently am:)
First of all, I always go to bed fresh and clean. Shower before bed is a must for me. Water is therapeutic and is the easiest (though overlooked) way to rinse off the day's energy, and rid your body of any negative vibes you might have picked up during the day. So take a shower consciously, feeling how all the negativity is washing away, the day is over and nothing matters but how you prepare yourself for the next day. Thank water for its wonders.

Always sleep in clean fresh sheets. I prefer white over all colors and they have to be soft and feel nice to my body. Your bed should be your sanctuary where your body, mind and soul rest and recharge for the day to come. Keep lights low, light up a candle right next to you and spend a few minutes staring at it. It's called candle meditation and should help you unwind your mind. Put on some sensual music. If you like to have a glass of wine, make it a small one, or really best to avoid any alcohol. I usually read something, or write my blog, or............

You can do something you enjoy very much, it's up to you:)

Basically, it's about creating sensuality around yourself and falling asleep with it. If done right, you're guaranteed sweet dreams and an easy awakening in the morning, which is the best way to start a day.

Sweet dreams:)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Sex and sexuality, III

Since my last post about Sex and Sexuality was addressed to ladies (or as I like to say these days, Female Goddesses) I am dedicating this one to you gentlemen, all our men out there.

Before you start reading all the Men's Health Magazines articles on "How to Make Her Wild and Happy" there is just one simple thing you need to know on how to let your woman open up in bed and surrender to her unbridled passion. For, believe me, all women have it in them, it's natural to us as we are the bearers of life. It's just some are a little more guarded than the others, some are simply too worried, etc. Once a woman opens up in bed, you'll know what Heaven feels like.

So what is the ONE thing you need to do to let your woman open up and let it be an out of this world sexual experience?
Here it is: Make her feel safe. She needs to feel safe with you. Sounds simple, doesn't it? The truth is very few men make us feel safe around them. All women might explain differently what a sense of safety feels to them, and it could be somewhat different to some. But I'll give you a general description.

Being intimate with a partner is the most vulnerable experience that happens to us. Whatever she tells you, deep inside she knows that each time she is intimate with you, she gives a little part of herself away to you, with each time, she fills her cells with tenderness and connection to you. She takes your body in and she lets you into her heart.

When we don't feel safe with a partner, in other words, know that we shouldn't let him into our bodies and ultimately into our hearts, we start protecting ourselves. We don't let ourselves open up, and are constantly on guard, even during an orgasm (if it's a real one:).
When we feel safe with a partner, we open our bodies, we open our hearts, and we let our minds go. That's when the best sexual experience happens. (and real orgasms:)

So how do you make her feel safe? Well it depends on a personality. You just need to figure it out, listen to her, observe her. For me, for instance, it's when I know that I am with a man who takes care of things and I can simply relax and be a beautiful sensual woman. He is with me and I am the only one he wants and needs. I can rely on him, I feel safe and taken care of. Even as simple as making sure, I am fed and feeling comfortable and at ease wherever we are. He makes me feel like home. He picks me up and carries me to bed:) He puts my feet between his legs to make them warm. He brings me a glass of water to bed if I am thirsty. I can go on:)))

He knows how fragile women are (even the ones who seem very strong:) and need to be shown that they are in no danger with him. Basically, we need to see that you you've got our back if anything happens. You put us first.

I know it's a bit different from all the tips you've read in men's magazines. But this is the only truth if you want it. And I am sure you do, if it's something real(authentic) that you're looking for.

I'm here if you have any questions:)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Life is like an ocean

Today during my yoga practice, the teacher shared the following thought:

"Life is like an ocean. You're standing in it, and then the wave comes your way and knocks you down. You fall deep down with sand in your hair, your clothes, your eyes and throat. Then you get up and see the wave goes away and breaks down. Then a new one comes in and you get knocked down again. And so on and so on, until the time you build resistance and can handle the wave. And then when you get strong, there are no waves anymore but still calm waters."

Perfect timing for this wisdon really as today has been one of those days for me when I felt vulnerable. You know those days, when for no particular reason, you feel small and fragile, as if thrown into the deep ocean away from your loved ones, all by yourself and no one to hang on to? I am sure we all have those days, even the strongest of us:)
Of course those days are rare for me, simply because I can't afford them in my life. But whenever I feel that way, I just want to go back to the time I was a little girl, and my dad carried me in his strong arms. Just a memory of it makes me feel safe and loved.
Whenever we feel unsafe and need some loving, we just need to think of something or someone who made us feel safe and happy. In my case, my dad carrying me. I am sure we all have some memories from childhood when we felt safe and loved.

The days we feel small and vulnerable should be cherished. It's so rare we let ourselves feel that way due to our ego, but deep down we are sensitive beings and want to be loved and cared for. Even though I feel vulnerable I feel the most innocent at the time. It's like all I need is my loved ones around me and feel like I am home. Nothing else matters. Ego is gone and only what really matters in life (love and companionship) is present. Those feelings are important to feel grounded and to understand what really matters in life. So embrace them and treat them with all the love you can give. Think of your loved ones, your parents, your siblings, reach out to them if possible. Or simply hold them in your heart and know they are there for you, just like you are there for them.

And if you ever feel that way and have no one to turn to, email me:) Just reaching out will make all the difference. The most important thing is to see the beauty in feeling that way. We are all connected and love indeed is all there is. We forget about that and feel that it's us against the world. This leads to fear and unhappiness. So when we feel small and vulnerable it's the God's way to bring us back to awareness that we are all one and with God. No fear, just love.


P.S. here are some pics of me and my family (on camel is my older sister). I was born in 80's, in Russia, in case you were wondering about the quality of pics, and my mum's cool hair:)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Sex and sexuality, II

Now that you've thought (I hope) about the meaning of sex & sexuality in your life I would like to discuss a technical side of it.

However before jumping into a very exciting topic on how to develop sexuality and enhance your sex life with your partner, I first would like to discuss self satisfaction (self pleasure if you will).
I want to speak to women mostly, to all women, singe, partnered, married, etc.
Ladies, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to learn how to orgasm on your own. Moreover, you need to get to the point when you give yourself the best orgasms. I admit and agree that the best sex and orgasms are with a loving partner with whom you share true passionate love. But this discussion isn't about that.
It's more about learning how to satisfy yourself so well that you won't find yourself stuck in a wrong relationship, won't worry about your sex life when single and act crazy, or simply put up with BS from a man who doesn't deserve you and your body.
We women are very sensual and get attached to a sex partner chemically. Nothing we could do about it, it's biology. This little biological trick does a number on us, let me tell you. If we don't take care of it, we can end up far from where we dreamed to be. We could find ourselves in a toxic relationship and not being able to leave for fear to be alone. We could put up with bad attitude from our man, when he doesn't cherish and appreciate you the way you deserve. And the worst thing, we could confuse it with true love and in the end get hurt because men never, listen to me, NEVER, confuse sex with love. Sex is simply sex for them. They can make love to you in the morning and then go on and break your heart later in the day. Just saying, shit happens.
We need to understand and embrace our female power. God gave us (not men) this power to bring new life to the world. We are blessed to have multiple extensive orgasms that men can only dream of. We undoubtedly rule the world of creation. Our bodies are temples where life is born and that is why we are so in touch with sexuality.
Once you become you body's best lover you hold the power in any relationship. Once you know that you give yourself the greatest pleasure you'll never put up with a selfish partner. Ultimately you'll find yourself with a loving man who will make sure that you come first :)

I'll leave it at that for now but will be coming back to it every time I write about sex and sexuality. In the meantime, get excited, go on a journey of discovering your own body. It's beautiful and it wants your attention. Listen to it for it holds many answers you might be looking for. As always I am there for you.

Please feel free to ask me more about it, and maybe even on the ways how to achieve orgasms on your own. I'll be happy to help you find your power.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Online Dating, II

Just to recap: back in August-October of 2011, I tried online dating. Mission: 3 dates in 3 month. Not my most ideal way of meeting the love of my life, I still felt that I needed to try it just for the sake of an experiment, to show the Universe that I was trying:)

1st date was a nice try.. and next week I was ready to meet my date 2. Unlike the first guy, Tim had a lot of pictures in his profile showing that he wasn't only capable to lift me up (if opportunity ever presented itself:), but was a very active guy indeed. Here he is surfing in Costa Rica, here he is in a standing split pose (yoga pose) in Thailand, here he is dancing at a charity event, etc. Got it, you have my attention, let's meet.
He arranged the place, he called me to confirm, he was being on top of things. That's the way I like it, I felt excited. There might be something there... 
We meet, we feel relieved, why not? two good looking people who love life and love to smile. We talk a little bit about our passions, we talk a little bit about our lives, and then we talk A Lot about our love for Spain and Flamenco. 2nd date wasn't only an option it was a requirement. He already wanted to plan the whole month ahead. Me, not in a rush to give all my free time to someone I just met, taking it easy though. I needed to see, I needed to make sure. 
It's getting late, we say good bye, he says it was amazing and I am a breath of fresh air. I take it as a compliment, then take a cab and go home.
He calls me the next day to plan for the 2nd date. I'm cool about it. In the meantime I don't really get on the site as much. You see I only had 3 dates to play with so I just decided to take it one at a time. So I'm just going to see Tim again.
We meet Saturday night. Again he picks the place, Spanish tapas place with Flamenco dancing no less. I feel even more excited. That opportunity (if ever presented) seems more like a possibility:)
Anyway, I look hot, I look sexy, I look sophisticated (believe me it's a possible combination).
Well, let me tell you the only sparks that were flying that night were on a dance floor when the Flamenco dancer was tapping her shoes. As it turned out Tim and I simply didn't have any chemistry. The only passion we shared was Flamenco and anything that had to do with Spain. Good foundation but definitely not enough to even get us thru the 2nd date. I felt I was a shiny speed car, while he was a run down buick. Sorry for such a blatant and insensitive comparison but that's how it really felt and I am very good in my imagination department.
The best part: we simply said good bye and accepted with natural for both of us calmness and grace that it just wan't in cards for us. I'd never had such an easy end to a "2-dates" relationship. We even stayed friends on FB and wished each other good luck.

Ok, 2 dates in 3 weeks I was feeling tired and decided to take a break for awhile. I told you online dating wasn't my thing. 

Stay tuned for Date 3.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Ship has sailed

Having been doing yoga for almost a month, I've started seeing the magical benefits of it. Not only has my body become more alive and vibrant, my mind has started responding as well. Good ideas seem to be flowing easily and effortlessly.
Today during my practice I had the most genius vision yet.

The vision I had will be extremely beneficial to those who still think about their past relationships, partners who entered your heart but didn't exit even though no longer present in your life. For those who seem to be reminiscing about old flames and not being able to move on. We all have to believe in abundance of the Universe and it's eternal commitment to give us anything we desire as long as we are ready for it. You can't let in a new relationship if your heart is not free and ready to welcome a new love. No matter how beautiful and meaningful a relationship might have been it's in the past. And past is just a memory but if constantly reminded it takes control of the present and steals away from the future. I do believe that we need to release and believe that better and greater things will come along. Life is a journey and a short one. We need to be present to enjoy it to the fullest.

So here is my vision that you could all apply in order to release any past relationships and be ready to welcome a new partner into your life.

I imagined a beautiful island with palm trees, blue water and white sandy beach. There was a ship by the shore, white ship that was getting ready for a long journey. Then I saw all of the partners I let into my heart, the men who I would still think of and maybe deep down regret that it didn't work out. Maybe even think that there was still a chance with one of them, and especially the ones I didn't have closure with. They all boarded the ship and I knew that they were sailing far far away for good. That I would never see them again. I waived good bye, I even had tears in my eyes, I wished them all good luck and be happy wherever their journey takes them. I did it sincerely. Then as the sun was coming down over the ocean the ship went on its journey and out of my life, out of my heart.

I felt a tremendous sense of relief and so light that I could almost fly. I was happy. As I turned back I saw a beautiful resort with lots of lights, and people smiling at me. They drew to me and put pink flowers in my hair, they put on a red dress on me and lead me to the fire set up in the middle. Beautiful music was playing and we celebrated my liberation. I knew with the ending I started a new beginning...

That was a detailed scenario I experienced but you can vary it to your taste. The most important thing is to truly experience it, see it as clearly as watching a movie. I know it could be hard for many, so that's where yoga and meditation step in. At first you might feel lonely as you've got used to thinking of someone and having comfort in resorting to that person in hopes for love. But this imaginary comfort is exactly what's keeping you from letting in new love and perhaps the most important love of your life. Also it's important to let go off any hurt and resentment. It's important to forgive all including yourself. No one deliberately wants to hurt anyone. Any relationship is a lesson for both and is a blessing for our soul's growth.
I wish you all good luck in your ending for I believe there is a beautiful beginning awaits each one of us. Namaste.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Burning questions answered, Part IV

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it"
Marilyn Monroe

Me: Earlier you said "I would want someone strong, independent, honest, loving etc. I need to feel if I leave this world that you are strong to take care of yourself and my child.” I have a lot of girlfriends who are married and don't work, and everyone seems to be happy (at least to the world). And then I have girlfriends who are financially independent and are strong women but have difficulty finding a lifetime partner. The issue is almost always the same: They are too strong and independent.
So my question is do men REALLY want a strong woman with a career or just say it but choose the one who stays home and makes him the center of her world (allegedly).

Man: Yes, when it comes to dating you want a woman who is independent and strong but it changes in a marriage. If two people are working it could hurt a relationship because both parties are tired or busy. When a woman stays home, a man feels comfortable knowing that the kids are in good hands. He knows that when he comes home he can make love to his wife and not hear how tired she is from all day at work.

Me: But then it disagrees with what you said that you want a strong/independent woman who can support the family if something happens to you.. I am confused..

Man: Taking care of a family is an important responsibility. The difference is the women who Don't want to work at all. She should be able to go back to work if husband walks out on her and not look for another man to support her.

Me: Hmm.. But what if she says she wants to work but it really isn't true. How do you know? I have friends who only say it to their men but don't put in any effort.

Man: Communication is a big thing in this case. You need to share plans and ideas and always strive for growth.

Me (still confused and persistent): Communication is one thing. But reality shows me that it's women with no careers, no ambition that have a man who loves them and takes care of them. And then the women who are strong and independent (myself included) are too much to handle for the man's weak ego?

Man: Because what you say you want in life and what you actually get are 2 different things. He may want an independent woman but gets caught up with other things and then doesn't care about it too much. Most men settle in a relationship. Still it doesn't mean he WOULDN'T want a strong and independent woman.

Ok, I wasn't getting anywhere. It's a man's mind, it's a man's world. But one thing I clearly get is that men can say one thing but do the other. They can say they love you but go and sleep with another woman. They can say they admire you but go and marry the one who admires them. They can say they can't live without you but then go and live with the one who makes him her center of the world.

It's my understanding that most men can't handle strong women simply because there are not that many strong men. Only a strong man has control over his ego and is not afraid to have an equal partner who can be his lover in bed and business partner at the same time. But those are few and we still have to deal with the big E in our lives (man's Ego). Women who are good (and willing) actresses find a man to take care of them, women who don't have time or desire to play "male ego" games have challenges finding a partner. And women who refuse to play (me) will only see themselves with one of those few. Yet even if he is one in a million it's still worth waiting. Settling is never an option. Then it's living someone else's life and that's is the worst thing you could do to your soul. Might as well call it a day and go to a temple for the rest of your life.
But any woman (dependent, independent, strong, weak) wants to be a true woman. And only with a true man could she ever be.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Me, true self

Nite all,

It's late and I just wanted to share something very dear to my heart. I have two friends (they are a couple) with whom I feel the most myself. It's like me in my bed, completely open and exposed.. And only two of them share that special space where I am the most myself. I love them, we share our feelings and thoughts. We say anything we want to say and know we are understood, cause we are on the same wavelength. We do silly things, we say intimate things, we laugh and we have fun. It's us being as open as we can ever be.
I hope you all have someone like that in your life, cause when you're being your most true self with someone else you feel belonged. And that is what we all human beings constantly search for: to belong.

Sweet dreams.
Love & Peace.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


Nite all.

This is a reminder to think about the questions I asked you in my previous post! I know I am being pushy here, but I really want you to put in some effort too. This is for the highest benefit to all.
Before I take you to the next step, which is showing the methods and learning how to develop your Inner Sex Goddess, I want you to understand what it all means to you.
So please think about love, sex, sexuality and anything else that comes in the process:) let inspiration and your heart guide you.

here is another music video I absolutely love:

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Sex and sexuality, I

I would like to start this post with a question for you to answer (sharing on my blog is always welcome). Take your time, be honest.

What do Sex & Sexuality mean to you? What role do they play in your life and how do you feel about them?

Before you start thinking I would like to share my perception, just so you understand what I am talking about. 
Sex and sexuality are two different words with their own unique meaning. However for me, they are inseparable and complementary. Sex has never meant to me as a simple physical act/intercourse. It's rather a sacred union of body, mind and soul connected in the most natural and loving way. In other words, it's the highest level of balance between mind, body and soul that feels the most natural and loving.

I believe to truly enjoy sex it needs to be perceived as something sacred and given to us from God. In fact, there is a lot of evidence from the earlier religious works telling us that sex was considered the highest form of love by God's manifestation. The earlier works of Kabbalah didn't only consider sex sacred but also performed Sex Magick rituals to communicate with God (the Divine) to manifest their dreams and desires. And of course, the most convincing argument is that it's only thru sex that we are able to create new life in a natural way.

Sexuality is a state (a sensation if you will) necessary to make a sexual experience spiritual. Simply put, to reach the highest sexual satisfaction and connect to the Divine, you need to develop sexuality first. It could be developed in many ways and I'll be sharing with you my methods in the future posts, I promise. Trust me, I take this stuff seriously :) Simply because, anytime before a sexual experience (either by myself or with a partner) I feel that it's something magical and requires special preparation. I'll discuss it in a greater detail going forward. But for now I just want you to think about those questions I asked in the beginning.

Music might be helpful in your thought process:) here is a video I like but you can use your own, just make sure it's sensual. Have fun!