Saturday, July 30, 2011

Orgasm Connoisseurs

Women have all different and many types of orgasm (read the blog I linked below).
Just one more reason to be happy to be a woman. and as always, multiple is the goal!!

Orgasm Connoisseurs – Experts Weigh In on Different Types of Orgasm

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Before I continue

Do you ever feel exhausted emotionally? It's as if you can't think anymore, and just want to blank out.
I think the recent romantic shenanigans (which I'll write about later) left me completely drained. You see, I can't just touch the surface, I need to go all the way deep in. I live and do everything whole-heartedly. And that could be exhausting.
Since May of this year, my romantic life has been as busy as a presidential campaign. I've shared the first part of it in my previous post "Dating Game". I will continue my story but for now just wanted to take a break from dating and re-charge my batteries. We all need to nurture ourselves in order to live life fully. And that means having a complete balance in your life, not letting outside factors interfere. For me it's hard to do, as I feel and live through anyone crossing my path. I worry for people, I think of them and want to help.. I should consider opening my therapy practice :)

For now, I am laying low, not seeing or talking to any guys, just resting. And taking care of myself. I need to plan my trip to Spain and that will need my undivided attention. (just love my excuses:)

As such, I will continue writing about my current romantic escapades once I restore my balance. And once I feel completely in charge, I will get back to dating and mating game so that I could dive deep in again.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Amazing news

I just had to share this with the world, I am too excited. Today I got my vacation time scheduled (it's a big deal in corporate world). So I am planning a trip to Spain to visit my sister and my niece. Tickets are outrageous so I might skip a few cocktails and stop shopping for awhile, sorry girl friends... Still couldn't be happier, I'll see my loved ones in a month and a half. Viva Espana!!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Dating Game I

If you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up to these days in my personal life I am finally ready to let you in.
I’ve been dating. Since my rebound from last relationship ended in April, I entered the dating scene. It’s not that I planned it, but it kind of happened naturally as I regularly meet men that are interesting and are interested. 
I’ll start from the beginning which took place in May.
It was a nice late May Saturday night. My friend from San Francisco came to NY to celebrate her Big day, and a group of 5 people gathered at Mari Vanna, our favourite Russian place in NY. I remember it was exactly a week after my rebound finale and I felt that I just didn’t care anymore. I was just happy to meet with my friends, and couldn’t care less about guys. There were no expectations whatsoever, in a way that I chose a Russian place knowing that I had zero interest in russian guys and it was a safe place to be.
The only desire I had that morning was to go away, travel some place. I am mentioning this right now as you’ll see the reason later. It’s quiet miraculous.

I put my skinny jeans and a white shirt on, and Natalie and I were on the way to meet our friends. I remember we got in there before everyone and ordered some food and drinks. Natalie is my friend and roommate, I think at this point we know about each other’s lives more than anyone. So we just wanted to talk about it all and relax before everyone got in. 
Once my friends joined the place started picking up pace. There were definitely lots of guys, but I was true to myself and did not pay attention being just happily present with my friends. I do recall though that when Lana’s boy-friend Drew was taking a picture of us, a group of guys walked in. I saw them because we were facing the door. I am blind when it comes to distances so I was only able to see smiling (I could be mistaken) faces and black shirts. The guys went in and blended with the crowd. 

My friends and I had an amazing time talking and taking pictures. it was a very easy flowing night. At some point, Drew came over and asked me to arrange a surprise cake for Lana. I had to move to the other side of the bar to talk to the stuff and make sure Lana didn’t see it. So it was then when I finished talking to a personnel at the end of the bar that a guy was picking up 3 glasses of red wine, the guy from the group that I noticed earlier. I turned around and found a beautiful smile and smiling eyes. He asked me whether I would like a glass of wine, and I almost naturally said yes. He gave me the glass right away and asked for another one for himself after giving the other glasses to his friends. 
I asked him what kind of wine it was, he said Malbec, and for some reason I asked him whether he was from Argentina. He had a tanned skin and his face had a nice sexy but kind look that I would associate with Argentinians. Malbec was the link. He said no, but it didn’t matter at that point. He was from another country and had the most unusual name. I liked him instantly but since I wasn’t looking for any adventures that night, I left and joined my friends. 
The cake came out and it was amazing. The guy (I’ll refer to him as M), and I were sending smiles over the room now and then, and I knew he was there and something would happen. 
I don’t remember how but at some point he and his friends got chairs next to us, and I couldn’t fight my instincts anymore. We joined in the night, we had more wine and food. and eventually I found myself talking mostly to him and not my friends. It was easy. My friends left, we stayed, his friends left, we stayed, everybody at the restaurant left and we still stayed. It was right then when I felt that we had to go as the place was closing and I told him that we should get going. But my words just evaporated into the night and I all I could see is his lips and feel the vibes around. We kissed. And when we left the place, we kissed more, we were kissing in a cab home. I was completely turned on, yet I had to pull myself together and kiss him good night. 

The next day, he wanted to go to a movie but I felt that it was my day to do my stuff, such as writing my blog :) You see I didn’t plan it and when it happens out of the blue I am not sure what to do. So we didn’t go to a movie but then he asked me how I felt about going to Vegas with him next week? We just met last night and it would seem crazy, right? But I said Yes, and although I wanted to feel that it was crazy it didn’t feel that way. I think I trusted him, I couldn’t explain why, I just felt it. Maybe because I wanted to go away (remember that morning) and the Universe delivered the opportunity right away and it felt so natural that I went along with it. Yet I felt attracted to him. I felt that I knew him and I could sense that the time together in Vegas would be amazing. But I also sensed that it wasn’t our time yet and we almost rushed in because we so wanted it. I can’t explain it but for some reason my sixth sense was telling me that the timing wasn’t right yet, I knew the trip wouldn’t be an inception to a relationship. I couldn’t explain it and it only made sense later on. 

So I went to Vegas with M the following week. 
Stay tuned in to see what happens next.

Midnight in Paris

I am absolutely in love with Woody Allen's latest movie "Midnight in Paris". It's playing in selective theaters since last month, and I've seen it three times already. I almost went to see it again tonight.. It's that good. (check the link below)
It speaks to me on many levels. I loved the juxtaposition of two cultures: american and european, as materialistic versus idealistic, practical versus romantic. The main character Gil, who is by the way an American, is lost in between worlds. As such he resorts to nostalgia in a complete belief that he was born about 80-90 years too late. The script takes him on night adventures in Paris back to 1920s, where he meets such greats as Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Dali, etc. Every night, he runs away from his reality that includes a materialistic and spoiled to obnoxiousness american fiance, her obsession with a pedantic know-it-all American male friend (with whom she eventually cheats on Gil) and her anti-french (or probably Europe or anything other than US) parents.
He is not supported in his search for something greater in this life than a house in Malibu and $20K beach chairs. He is looking for his true calling, his home. And he finds it once he stops blindly following the americans around him and finds his truth.
What I love the most, is that once he faces his reality and accepts the fact that it's not what he wants everything falls into a place. He leaves his fiance, and finds his true love right there in Paris, the most romantic place on Earth, the place that speaks home to him.
I also love that no matter how lost and out of place he is with his american entourage in Paris, once he finds himself and accepts his truth, life brings him to the exact right place and time.
It makes me hopeful. I feel that no matter how hard and fearful it might seem in the beginning to face the things that don't speak to your heart, once you do you'll find your true and ultimate reality. For if it doesn't feel right it's not your reality anyway. It's probably someone else's. So break away, don't be afraid to face it. Look it right in the eye and accept that it's not you. Once you do, you'll hear your true voice and you'll see your true self. You'll follow your heart then, and that is a sure way to eternal happiness.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Mean Reds

For those who don't know what Mean Reds are, they are anxieties associated with an unidentified and sudden fear. The phrase comes from one of my favourite movies "Breakfast at Tiffany's". Holly Golightly experienced Mean Reds when she was afraid but didn't know what she was afraid of. I know exactly what she felt..
Sometimes you just wake up in the middle of the night, and feel scared and can't really explain why. Maybe we're afraid that life is slipping away and we still have so much we want to do. Maybe we are fearful for tomorrow or the future in general. Whatever it is, I think we all have those moments once in awhile.
I wanted to share with you some of the ways to beat those horrible Mean Reds. I am an optimist and generally a happy person; therefore I hate to have Mean Reds. Basically, I don't let them in, but if it's too late and they are already here, I stay strong and face them with all my trusted methods. Here they are:
1) Comfort zone
Find a place that makes you feel safe, like home. For Holly, it was Tiffany jewelry store. As she explained, it feels that nothing bad could happen to you when you're there. For me, it's a book store. As soon as I walk in, I get a sense of comfort and easiness. I can spend hours just sitting there going over a dozen of books. It calms me so much that I don't even think of Mean Reds while there.
One sad fact: 2 of my favourite book stores (Borders on Park Ave & 57th and Barnes&Noble on 66th & Broadway) were closed this year. I loved those 2 places and want to send my big gratitude to them as they'd been my comfort zone for years.
2) Music
Listen to the music that makes you happy. Music is really a magic, it can influence our emotional state, it stirs our feelings like nothing else. I also want to thank all the talented people that created and continue to create such beauty. Get outside, put your earphones in, turn on iPod, iPhone, etc and just walk. The results are immediate. Another thing is go to a concert, music performance, or a local band gig. The passion of performers, the chemistry of people around will shake you up and make you feel excited.
3) Nature
Go to the beach if possible. It's the most beautiful and tranquil place on earth. If not possible, go to the park, botanical garden, any place that has a lot of greenery. Go horseback riding.
4) Friends
Meet up with your friends, but those who lift you up. Anything you do, make sure to concentrate on their company and be present. I usually like to meet with my male friends. Guys don't sweat the stuff we girls do. I found that girlfriends like to talk about issues, and just mull over them till exhaustion. It's a general observation..
5) Do what makes you happy.
I run, write, read, dance, etc. Or don't do anything and let yourself just be. I love to repeat to myself "Everything works out in the end". And last weekend, my friend told me that the Brazilians like to say this phrase plus "If it doesn't work out, it's not over yet!" I love it!!
These are quick fixes and help with temporary Mean Reds. However, if you find yourself having those moments too frequently, it means there is something in your life that is not working and needs to be addressed. Then just face the issue and see what you can do to change it. I'll write on that in a separate post.
I hope you'll find this post helpful, and feel free to share your ways to keep those mean reds at bay.
Blessings to all, love and peace!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Tom Cruise and Yoga Teachers

Last Thursday, I went out with my friend to Otto, an Italian restaurant in the village. The place, the crowd and bartenders had a dramatic effect on me. I felt as if I was in one of Woody Allen's movies. Not surprisingly it was the night with my friend JM who, even though an American, has a very international and even somewhat European old school presence. It was somewhere between a glass of Rose and Medium Red that I started getting a sense of being transformed to a Woody Allen's scene. In fact, I almost felt to be in a different place and time.
First, whenever I meet JM, we talk about foreign places, people and cultures, books and writing. He’s been around the world and is the most worldly American I ever met. Our conversations themselves are very nostalgic to me, almost idealistic in a sense. The best way to describe it is I feel as if I am in the past time but as myself now. JM has an amazing ability to take me out of this hectic and stressful dynamic of NYC and make me feel as if I am in a glorious past when men were gentlemen and women - ladies.
Secondly, the place is truly Italian in a sense that bartenders are just like Italians: first mean and unaccommodating, only to turn into smiling and most helpful hosts if you hold your own and don’t get intimidated by their initial attitude. That’s how they test you. Be strong with them, be persistent but polite. This is just a little secret to an Italian’s heart.
So that is exactly how it went at Otto: JM lost his faith after 2 unsuccessful attempts to get the bartender’s attention. I knew that just one more try and my unwavering smile would make him go out of his way to make our time there a joy and wish to come back for more.  Sure thing, in a split of a second he pulled up 4 glasses and gave me a generous wine tasting. My friend was exhilarated. 
One man by the bar who, as I understood, was there almost every night was amazed with this transformation and sat right next to us to share in the glory. So we got ourselves a talkative neighbor which is lots of fun if you are in a mood for it...
Just when I thought I couldn’t feel anymore excited a new bartender came in. And I swear God, if he doesn’t look like Tom Cruise from the movie Cocktail than I need to see an eye doctor. The funniest thing was that I noticed him when he was trying to tell some people off. I wasn’t sure what they did but he seemed very serious and almost angry. That is till the moment I saw him, and interrupted his anger with my most genuine and cute I can’t believe you look just like Tom Cruise! I was so fascinated and my face showed it so clearly that the guy just became speechless. He was lost for words and I think almost emotionally struck that he just turned away and left. It was hysterical to those watching by.
Our neighbor was blown away, and didn’t want to leave my side from then on. Not even when 4 of his female friends showed up. The women were relaxed and I think very much enjoyed their company and the wine bought by their friend. In fact, they were so relaxed that hardly paid any attention to him. Maybe because of this serene aura around them or uncanny disinterest in men around (even the one they came to see), I found them look like Yoga teachers. Once I shared my thoughts with our neighbor, he reached the level of his amazement with my open and pretty much naive perception of the surroundings. He couldn’t get over it, it sounded so beautiful to him, he knew I was out of this world.. He said it was the best compliment you could give to a woman. In fact, if he likes a woman and wants to approach her, he’ll just ask her whether she is a Yoga teacher.. I was happy I made a difference for several people that night.
That’s when I realized that in what seemed like a movie, I felt my most authentic self: happy and joyful, like a Tinkerbell sprinkling her fairy dust on those around. And that is more real to my heart than anything else. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Taking a break

Do you ever feel that you want to get away from it all and come back when you're completely relaxed and re-charged to take on the world again.
I wish there was a time machine that could take us to wherever it is we want to be to re-charge our batteries and then bring us back to the exact same time and space so that we don't even have to deal with stress that we are behind on responsibilities and need to catch up.
I feel that way now, and the place I would like to be is Spain. I haven't told you yet, but I have a sister and niece who live there. And I feel the happiest when I am with them in Spain. When we go to the beautiful Andalucian beaches, when my niece won't let a hold of me the whole time, even at night. She wraps her legs over me, and we can sleep in her twin bed and still feel rested. I never could sleep with anyone like that. But with her, wrapped all over me, I sleep like a baby. And when my sister sings a silly song from our childhood that makes me and my niece laugh so hard that we beg her to stop for our bellies hurt. When we drive back from the beach in the night and there are no lights only the car lights showing the next two steps. And we feel so safe and so happy. We don't even have to say it. I miss them all the time..
There is nothing more precious than the time spent with the people we love and trust above all.
I am sending my unconditional love and blessings to my most important people: my sister and my niece. I love you. Las Hermanas Como las estrellas, No siempre juntas pero seimpre ahi

Sunday, July 3, 2011

If You Ever Loved Somebody Put Your Hands Up

I am immensely amazed whenever I hear people tell me that they’ve never been in love.
I know I should be understanding as there was a period in my life when I'd never experienced it. Yet whenever I hear this my eyes become larger than apples and all I can say is Really? How? Why?
Let me tell you, they are all normal people, at least they seemed to be. The fact that it was only men who ever confessed this important piece of information to me, made me re-consider that many times. Again men have their own ways that we women just don’t understand and never will. Yet I have no choice but to explore on this issue from my female perspective, hoping that in no way am I undermining men. I love you guys, and wouldn’t want to hurt you... But I am just too curious to pass on this subject.

First time, it happened 2 years ago, at my girl friend’s bachelorette party in Southampton, that a nice 33 y.o. guy confessed to me about his no-love experience. He was very cute and sweet. We talked for an hour, next hour we danced and it was a lot of fun (he might have been the most fun dancer I ever had). The last hour we kissed and it was even more fun as my friends literally had to pull me away from him and drag me back into a limo to go home. 
After that night, Ed and I dated for about 2 months, and I never could understand how is it such a sweet guy never was in love. I almost wanted to stick around longer to see how he falls in love with me and prove to myself (and maybe the rest of the world) that it was simply a matter of time and he was no stranger to love, he was one of us.. 
The second confession came from his closest friend, also a 33 y.o. guy. I found Stan very funny and witty. He had the looks and he was sharp. I even tried to set him up with my girl friend. And again I was sure that it was just temporary. A guy like that can’t go on in life without love. 
Since it didn’t work out for Ed and I, I forgot about this matter for awhile. Actually until last night, when a nice 35 y.o. guy confessed to me the exact same thing. My eyes became apples and instantly I remembered Ed and his friend Stan. Today it got me thinking even more. How is it that those guys have never been in love. And I am sure it’s not just them, there are more of them out there. So my questions is to all of them How is it that you never had your heart beating for someone else? 
I don’t remember if I ever asked Ed and Stan this question or it didn’t go beyond my bigger than apples eyes and a gasp. But I sure asked this question the guy last night. He said he didn’t want to have his heart broken. And I understood him, my eyes came back to their normal size and it made perfect sense to me. Of course, I was in love twice and maybe falling now again (will tell you later..) and, Man, it hurts.. Love hurts and whoever says it doesn’t found the secret that I want to know..
It hurts even when you are with them because of all the insane demands we have for our partners. If partners are not on the same wavelength it creates a feeling of a huge responsibility that not many can handle. Name at least one person who is fine with it. It gets overwhelming for both with expectations and demands, which in the end hurts both. I am not talking about those happy couples who are so in sync that they won’t even understand what I am talking about here. I am speaking for those whose relationships fell apart or not as smooth as they wish to be.

As much as it made sense to me last night, I still wouldn’t change a thing about my past 2 loves. Love, no matter how painful it was at times, made me experience myself and grow internally like nothing else. It made me feel alive. When I love I am life, and I feel eternal. Death has no meaning then, for when I love I know it is not as important as the love I have. And that is the reason I can’t wait to fall in love again.. I want to die in love..
In the end, I haven’t found the answer on why those guys and many others have never experienced love. But I hope one day they will. For they’ll see that the pain associated with it faints compared to the Love itself.